


Peter Nureyev and the Hyperion Detective

by fire_head_girl



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: 2 Mask 2 Murderous, I have no idea what I'm doing, M/M, Peter POV, baby's first fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-24
Updated: 2019-03-24
Packaged: 2019-12-06 23:07:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18226631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fire_head_girl/pseuds/fire_head_girl
Summary: Skilled master thief reveals his singular weakness to intrepid private investigator within hours of meeting him.Or, whydidPeter give Juno his real name?





	Peter Nureyev and the Hyperion Detective

**Author's Note:**

> All dialogue is lifted directly from the episode [the updated Juno Steel and the Case of the Murderous Mask (Part 2)], and as such is credited to Kevin Vibert & Sophie Kaner. I just... really wanted a convincing answer to the question above. So I wrote one.

I had to know.

He definitely suspected me, I could determine that much. After we had escaped Cecil Kanagawa’s deranged torture-funhouse, after I told Juno to retrieve the plasma cutter from my pocket, I checked that same pocket the first chance I got—and one of the glass micro lancets I’d removed from the doorknobs was missing. He had taken it.

I could’ve chalked it up to the habits of his profession—a good detective suspects everyone, questions everything, investigates all the evidence—and hoped he just didn’t recognize the lancet. But Cassandra revealed that the case had been opened before she’d arrived, and the way Juno latched onto that clue told me otherwise, told me that he had been putting the puzzle pieces together from the moment we set foot in Casa Kanagawa. And, well… part of me would be thrilled to find someone good enough to finally catch me.

So I opened my mouth, and ventured, “Only… I was wondering. In Kanagawa’s office, you said there were two things bothering you, but you only mentioned one. What was the other?”

He purposely avoided my eyes while he reached for the bottle and splashed another drink into his glass. “Refill?” His voice was robotic, cold.

Well then. I let out a small chuckle. “So that’s how it is, is it?” So Juno knew I was lying to him. He knew he couldn’t trust me… and I was surprised to find that _that_ knowledge stung.

I shook my head as if to fling the thought away. _Focus, Peter. Get the key and get out. Keep moving._ It would be simple; I just needed a distraction. “You know… you’re very handsome when you’re like this.” I took a step towards Juno. A floorboard creaked.

“Getting drunker by the second?” he quipped, raising an eyebrow. God, was he ever attractive when he was being snarky.

“Morally outraged,” I teased, moving closer. Seduction might not be the most inventive method of distraction, perhaps, but it _is_ quite effective. And if it ended up with this gorgeous detective’s lips on mine…

_That’s just a bonus_ , I told myself. _I’m doing it because it works._

“Look at him,” I mused. “Standing up against the big, mean world. It’s so… futile, and foolish, and… sexy.” I took another step; we were inches apart, now. Reflected neon from the city outside spilled over his face, catching on the scar etched across his nose. Imperfection illuminated in such a pretty way.

“You… you don’t have to go, Rex.” The shift in his tone surprised me. Juno was… vulnerable, all of a sudden. He looked up, stared at me with those big, dark eyes, and for a moment I almost forgot who was seducing whom.

I giggled. “See? This is exactly what I mean.” My pulse quickened, despite my best efforts.

“Listen to me.” Juno was halfway pleading now. “You don’t have to do this. You know that, right?”

Was he really just… _asking_ me not to steal the Mask? It was a rather odd strategy to try, if so, but ultimately immaterial. It would take more than just a pretty face and a 'pretty please' to stop me.

“Oh, but of course I do,” I countered, pouting playfully, acting as if we were still talking about my leaving Mars. Either way, I _did_ have to go. I had a responsibility to my client, and so I had to continue deceiving Juno, to pocket the key to his safe and then disappear. But—

_I didn’t want to_ , I realized. “The galaxy is much bigger than the two of us, Juno," I continued, suddenly unsure which of us I was trying to convince. "My work, my life… I belong out there. I have to leave.”

I touched his neck, gently. “But life can wait one night, Juno.” Then a pause, for dramatic effect, while I deliberately ignored my now-racing heart. _All just part of the plan_ , I told myself. 

__

“Come here,” I whispered.

__

And then he was kissing me, hard and hungry and desperate, and… I didn’t want it to end. Part of me wanted to forget the job and the Mask and just lose myself in this man’s arms—for an hour, an evening, however long he’d have me, and figure it out from there. But, sadly, that option wasn’t on the table tonight; I had a client to meet and a Martian artifact to deliver. So, under the pretense of pulling him in closer, I slipped a hand into his coat pocket.

__

Eventually we broke apart. It took a not-insignificant amount of restraint to keep from dragging him off to bed right then.  _Well_ , I deliberated,  _I suppose I_ could _always pick up the Mask and meet Miasma in the morning… although, leaving before Juno woke up wouldn’t be easy_ —

__

He interrupted my train of thought. "Rex…” he breathed, sliding his hands around my waist. _Oh, the hell with it_ , I thought.

__

I leaned in again. “Juno.”

__

Has anyone ever told you—”

__

I heard the handcuffs snap shut before I felt the metal close around my wrists.

__

"—that you’re under arrest?"

__

_Damn_ , he was good. It appeared it was time for that quick escape after all. Unless… 

__

Juno Steel would certainly make a formidable partner: he was a gifted sharpshooter, a whip-smart investigator, and it was clear we worked well together. _If_ I could convince him to join me.

__

"Oh, Juno!" I feigned delight. "Usually not until the second date, but—"

__

He cut me off. "I mean it, Glass. Or… whoever the hell you are." His voice was cold and angry. It was… uncomfortable, having that anger directed at me. I tried to shake it off.

__

"I take it from your tone that this is not another layer to the fantasy," I pouted. "Fine, I’ll play along. Under arrest for what?"

__

"The attempted theft of the Mask of Grimpotheuthis," he replied.

__

“I haven’t the first idea what you’re talking about—”

__

“And for stealing the keys to my safe straight out of my pocket.” He plucked the keys out from where I'd stashed them down my sleeve and held them up, dangling, in front of my face. _Ah_. 

__

"Yes, well, that does sound more familiar," I conceded, trying to appear contrite. Meanwhile, I searched my back pockets for a pen and paper. You know what they say: if you can’t beat 'em, convince them to forgo their old life and join you on a whirlwind tour across the galaxy.

__

"You want to know what the second thing bothering me was?" Juno asked. I didn’t respond; thanks to that little standoff scene in Croesus’ office, I already knew.

__

"It was the Mask’s case," he continued. "According to Cassandra, it was open before she ever got there, and you had just the tool to open it." I started scribbling as he went on. "Hidden glass syringes, tucked underneath the Kanagawas' doorknobs. I saw you pull this one from the door in the Mask’s room when I was talking to Cassandra. I started getting worried when you pretended not to know what it was. So I took it from your pocket when you sent me after your plasma cutter.”

__

I didn’t bother telling him that I had figured as much, or that I was mentally kicking myself for not stashing the lancets elsewhere. “I knew I’d regret letting you root around in there,” I admitted. “But I couldn’t resist.”

__

Also, we were in mortal danger at the time, so really it had been somewhat a matter of priorities.

__

“So I took a picture of the thing, and asked Rita to look into it for me. A hidden needle, small enough to leave a prick and take a drop of blood without anyone noticing. The perfect way to collect DNA samples, and to open the Mask’s case,” Juno declared. I had to admit, he _was_ irresistibly cute like this: all righteous anger and triumphant conviction. The good guy catches the bad guy and the world makes sense again. How simple, how charmingly naïve an idea; but on Juno, it looked… sweet. Pure. The complete opposite of the kind of life I could offer him. I pushed that thought from my mind.

__

"Oh! Is this the part where the detective tells us all how he solved the crime?" I teased. "Go ahead, Juno, I’m enjoying myself immensely."

__

He took a breath. "Cassandra said it was open before she ever got there. That’s… that’s how I knew for sure." His voice faltered and cracked, and for a moment he was silent, lost in distant thoughts. The sudden urge to kiss that pained look off his face flooded through me.

__

He shook his head and continued. "But you didn’t take the mask then, which means you must have been interrupted. You opened the case, and right then, Croesus came along." Yes, Juno certainly had my number. What a shame it was that I had to scramble it and disappear.

__

“I had to make good my escape, and quickly!” I protested. “The security is so tight in that mansion! So many cameras! You have no idea how long it took me to memorize the floor plan to ensure that my face would never be seen.”

__

"Who are you, really?" he spat. Again, his anger stung me.

__

"A name? Is that what you’re after, detective?" I found myself stalling, and I wasn't sure why; I had a hundred aliases at my disposal. I could be Perseus Shah or Victor Dauphin or dozens of others. And yet… with Juno Steel, I wanted to be Peter Nureyev.

__

"Oh, well,” I babbled, “a name would make things simpler, of course. A signifier to your senses, a sound that means a smell, a feeling, a taste…"

__

"Just answer the damn question," he demanded. He looked right at me—eyes burning bright, searching my face for that final clue he desperately needed but somehow knew he'd never find.

__

I had known this man less than twelve hours and was mere minutes away from vanishing out of his life. I owed him nothing… and yet, for reasons I could not for the life of me explain, I wanted to give him everything. To untangle the lies I'd been spinning all day. I wanted Juno to trust me.

__

"But, I’m afraid I don’t tell anyone my name," I confessed. "It… would take someone very special for me to tell it now."

__

The pen and paper were still in my hands.

__

“I knew it was you.” The pain in his voice twisted like a knife in my gut.

__

Without thinking, barely aware that my hands were moving, I finished the note behind my back. I signed a name.

__

My name.

__

The one I hadn't used in twenty years.

__


End file.
